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You know what is the difference between girls aged : 8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58, 68?
At 8 - You take her to bed and tell her a story. 
At 18 - You tell her a story and take her to bed. 
At 28 - You don't need to tell her a story to take her to bed. 
At 38 - She tells you a story and takes you to bed. 
At 48 - You tell her a story to avoid going to bed. 
At 58 - You stay in bed to avoid her story. 
At 68 - If you take her to bed, that'll be a story!!
تاریخچه جشن هالووین HALLOWEEN
The word itself, "Halloween," actually has its origins in the Catholic Church. It comes from a contracted corruption of All Hallows Eve. November 1, "All Hollows Day" (or "All Saints Day"), is a Catholic day of observance in honor of saints. But, in the 5th century BC, in Celtic Ireland, summer officially ended on October 31. The holiday was called Samhain (sow-en), the Celtic New year. 
One story says that, on that day, the disembodied spirits of all those who had died throughout the preceding year would come back in search of living bodies to possess for the next year. It was believed to be their only hope for the afterlife. The Celts believed all laws of space and time were suspended during this time, allowing the spirit world to intermingle with the living.
Naturally, the still-living did not want to be possessed. So on the night of October 31, villagers would extinguish the fires in their homes, to make them cold and undesirable. They would then dress up in all manner of ghoulish costumes and noisily paraded around the neighborhood, being as destructive as possible in order to frighten away spirits looking for bodies to possess.
Probably a better explanation of why the Celts extinguished their fires was not to discourage spirit possession, but so that all the Celtic tribes could relight their fires from a common source, the Druidic fire that was kept burning in the Middle of Ireland, at Usinach.
Some accounts tell of how the Celts would burn someone at the stake who was thought to have already been possessed, as sort of a lesson to the spirits. Other accounts of Celtic history debunk these stories as myth. 
The Romans adopted the Celtic practices as their own. But in the first century AD, Samhain was assimilated into celebrations of some of the other Roman traditions that took place in October, such as their day to honor Pomona, the Roman goddess of fruit and trees. The symbol of Pomona is the apple, which might explain the origin of our modern tradition of bobbing for apples on Halloween.
The thrust of the practices also changed over time to become more ritualized. As belief in spirit possession waned, the practice of dressing up like hobgoblins, ghosts, and witches took on a more ceremonial role.
The custom of Halloween was brought to America in the 1840's by Irish immigrants fleeing their country's potato famine. At that time, the favorite pranks in New England included tipping over outhouses and unhinging fence gates.
The custom of trick-or-treating is thought to have originated not with the Irish Celts, but with a ninth-century European custom called souling. On November 2, All Souls Day, early Christians would walk from village to village begging for "soul cakes," made out of square pieces of bread with currants. The more soul cakes the beggars would receive, the more prayers they would promise to say on behalf of the dead relatives of the donors. At the time, it was believed that the dead remained in limbo for a time after death, and that prayer, even by strangers, could expedite a soul's passage to heaven.
The Jack-o-lantern custom probably comes from Irish folklore. As the tale is told, a man named Jack, who was notorious as a drunkard and trickster, tricked Satan into climbing a tree. Jack then carved an image of a cross in the tree's trunk, trapping the devil up the tree. Jack made a deal with the devil that, if he would never tempt him again, he would promise to let him down the tree.
According to the folk tale, after Jack died, he was denied entrance to Heaven because of his evil ways, but he was also denied access to Hell because he had tricked the devil. Instead, the devil gave him a single ember to light his way through the frigid darkness. The ember was placed inside a hollowed-out turnip to keep it glowing longer.
The Irish used turnips as their "Jack's lanterns" originally. But when the immigrants came to America, they found that pumpkins were far more plentiful than turnips. So the Jack-O-Lantern in America was a hollowed-out pumpkin, lit with an ember.
So, although some cults may have adopted Halloween as their favorite "holiday," the day itself did not grow out of evil practices. It grew out of the rituals of Celts celebrating a new year, and out of Medieval prayer rituals of Europeans. And today, even many churches have Halloween parties or pumpkin carving events for the kids. After all, the day itself is only as evil as one cares to make it
by Jerry Wilson
You know what is the difference between girls aged : 8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58, 68?
At 8 - You take her to bed and tell her a story.
At 18 - You tell her a story and take her to bed.
At 28 - You don't need to tell her a story to take her to bed.
At 38 - She tells you a story and takes you to bed.
At 48 - You tell her a story to avoid going to bed.
At 58 - You stay in bed to avoid her story.
At 68 - If you take her to bed, that'll be a story!!
WOMEN'S ENGLISH
Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
We need... = I want
I am sorry = you'll be sorry
We need to talk = I need to complain
Sure, go ahead = I don't want you to
Do what you want = You'll pay for this later
I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron
Are you listening to me? = Too late, you're dead
You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
Do you love me? = I am going to ask for something expensive
It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV
How much do you love me? = I did something today that you're really not going to like
THE INTERVIEW WITH GOD
مصاحبه با خدا
I dreamed I had an interview with God.
در رویا دیدم که با خدا حرف میزنم
So you would like to interview me? God asked.
او از من پرسید :آیا مایلی از من چیزی بپرسی؟
If you have the time? I said.
گفتم ....اگر وقت داشته باشید....
God smiled. ? My time is eternity.
لبخندی زد و گفت: زمان برای من تا بی نهایت ادامه دارد
What questions do you have in mind for me?
چه پرسشی در ذهن تو برای من هست؟
What surprises you most about humankind?
پرسیدم: چه چیزی در رفتار انسان ها هست که شما را شگفت زده می کند؟
God answered...
پاسخ داد:
That they get bored with childhood,
آدم ها از بچه بودن خسته می شوند ...
they rush to grow up, and then
عجله دارند بزرگ شوند و سپس.....
Long to be children again.
آرزو دارند دوباره به دوران کودکی باز گردند
That they lose their health to make money...
سلامتی خود را در راه کسب ثروت از دست می دهند
and then lose their money to restore their health.
و سپس ثروت خود را در راه کسب سلامتی دوباره از صرف می کنند....
That by thinking anxiously about the future,
چنان با هیجان به آینده فکر می کنند.
They forget the present,
که از حال غافل می شوند
Such that they live in neither the present nor the future.
به طوری که نه در حال زندگی می کنند نه در آینده
"That they live as if they will never die,
آن ها طوری زندگی می کنند.،انگار هیچ وقت نمی میرند
and die as though they had never lived.
و جوری می میرند ....انگار هیچ وقت زنده نبودند
we were silent for a while.
ما برای لحظاتی سکوت کردیم
And then I asked.
سپس من پرسیدم..
As a parent, what are some of life's lessons you want your children to learn
مانند یک پدر کدام درس زندگی را مایل هستی که فرزندانت بیاموزند؟
To learn they cannot make anyone love them.
پاسخ داد:یاد بگیرند که نمیتوانند دیگران را مجبور کنند که دوستشان داشته باشند
All they can do
ولی می توانند
is let themselves be loved.
طوری رفتار کنند که مورد عشق و علاقه دیگران باشند
To learn that it is not good to compare themselves to others.
یاد بگیرند که خود را با دیگران مقایسه نکنند
To learn to forgive by practicing forgiveness.
یاد بگیرند ...دیگران را ببخشند با عادت کردن به بخشندگی
To learn that it only takes a few seconds to open profound wounds in those they love,
دارید ایجاد کنید یاد بگیرند تنها چند ثانیه طول می کشد تا زخمی در قلب کسی که دوستش
and it can take many years to heal them.
ولی سال ها طول می کشد تا آن جراحت را التیام بخشید
To learn that a rich person
یاد بگیرند یک انسان ثروتمند کسی نیست که دارایی زیادی دارد
is not one who has the most,but is one who needs the least
بلکه کسی هست که کمترین نیازوخواسته را دارد
To learn that there are people who love them dearly,
یاد بگیرند کسانی هستند که آن ها را از صمیم قلب دوست دارند
but simply have not yet learned how to express or show their feelings.
ولی نمیدانند چگونه احساس خود را بروز دهند
To learn that two people can
یاد بگیرند وبدانند ..دونفر می توانند به یک چیز نگاه کنند
look at the same thing and see it differently?
ولی برداشت آن ها متفاوت باشد
To learn that it is not enough that they
یاد بگیرند کافی نیست که تنها دیگران را ببخشند
forgive one another, but they must also forgive themselves.
بلکه انسان ها باید قادر به بخشش و عفو خود نیز باشند
"Thank you for your time," I said
سپس من از خدا تشکر کردم و گفتم
"Is there anything else you would like your children to know"
آیا چیز دیگری هم وجود دارد که مایل باشی فرزندانت بدانند؟
God smiled and said, Just know that I am here... always.
خداوند لبخندی زد و پاسخ داد: فقط این که بدانند من این جا و با آن ها هستم..........برای همیشه
I've learned that
no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow
I've learned that
you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights
I've learned that
regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life
I've learned that
making a living is not the same thing as making a life.
I've learned that
life sometimes gives you a second chance
I've learned that
you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw some things back
I've learned that
whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision
I've learned that
even when I have pains, I don't have to be one
I've learned that
every day you should reach out and touch someone
People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back
I've learned that
I still have a
lot to learn
I've learned that
people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel
مغایرتهای زمان ما
Today we have bigger houses and smaller families; more conveniences, but less time
ما امروزه خانه های بزرگتر اما خانواده های کوچکتر داریم؛ راحتی بیشتر اما زمان کمتر
we have more degrees, but less common sense; more knowledge, but less judgment
مدارک تحصیلی بالاتر اما درک عمومی پایین تر ؛ آگاهی بیشتر اما قدرت تشخیص کمتر داریم
We have more experts, but more problems; more medicine, but less wellness
متخصصان بیشتر اما مشکلات نیز بیشتر؛ داروهای بیشتر اما سلامتی کمتر
We spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get to angry too quickly, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too often, and pray too seldom
بدون ملاحظه ایام را می گذرانیم، خیلی کم می خندیم، خیلی تند رانندگی می کنیم، خیلی زود عصبانی می شویم، تا دیروقت بیدار می مانیم، خیلی خسته از خواب برمی خیزیم، خیلی کم مطالعه می کنیم، اغلب اوقات تلویزیون نگاه می کنیم و خیلی بندرت دعا می کنیم
We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too little and lie too often
چندین برابر مایملک داریم اما ارزشهایمان کمتر شده است. خیلی زیاد صحبت می کنیم، به اندازه کافی دوست نمی داریم و خیلی زیاد دروغ می گوییم
We‘ve learned how to make a living, but not a life; we’ve added years to life, not life to years
زندگی ساختن را یاد گرفته ایم اما نه زندگی کردن را ؛ تنها به زندگی سالهای عمر را افزوده ایم و نه زندگی را به سالهای عمرمان
We have taller buildings, but shorter tempers; wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints
ما ساختمانهای بلندتر داریم اما طبع کوتاه تر، بزرگراه های پهن تر اما دیدگاه های باریکتر
We spend more, but have less; we buy more, but enjoy it less
بیشتر خرج می کنیم اما کمتر داریم، بیشتر می خریم اما کمتر لذت می بریم
We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet the new neighbor
ما تا ماه رفته و برگشته ایم اما قادر نیستیم برای ملاقات همسایه جدیدمان از یک سوی خیابان به آن سو برویم
We've conquered outer space, but not inner space. We've split the atom, but not our prejudice
فضای بیرون را فتح کرده ایم اما نه فضای درون را، ما اتم را شکافته ایم اما نه تعصب خود را
we write more, but learn less; plan more, but accomplish less
بیشتر می نویسیم اما کمتر یاد می گیریم، بیشتر برنامه می ریزیم اما کمتر به انجام می رسانیم
We've learned to rush, but not to wait; we have higher incomes, but lower morals
عجله کردن را آموخته ایم و نه صبر کردن، درآمدهای بالاتری داریم اما اصول اخلاقی پایین تر
We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies, but have less communication. We are long on quantity, but short on quality
کامپیوترهای بیشتری می سازیم تا اطلاعات بیشتری نگهداری کنیم، تا رونوشت های بیشتری تولید کنیم، اما ارتباطات کمتری داریم. ما کمیت بیشتر اما کیفیت کمتری داریم
These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion; tall men and short character; steep profits and shallow relationships
اکنون زمان غذاهای آماده اما دیر هضم است، مردان بلند قامت اما شخصیت های پست، سودهای کلان اما روابط سطحی
More leisure and less fun; more kinds of food, but less nutrition; two incomes, but more divorce; fancier houses, but broken homes
فرصت بیشتر اما تفریح کمتر، تنوع غذای بیشتر اما تغذیه ناسالم تر؛ درآمد بیشتر اما طلاق بیشتر؛ منازل رویایی اما خانواده های از هم پاشیده
یک دعای زیبا
A beautiful Prayer
از خدا خواستم عادت های زشت را ترکم بدهد .
خدا فرمود : خودت باید آنها را رها کنی.
I ask God to take away my bad habit .
God said , no
It is not for me to take away , but for you to give it up .
از او خواستم روحم را رشد دهد .
فرمود : نه تو خودت باید رشد کنی .
من فقط شاخ و برگ اضافی ات را هرس می کنم تا بارور شوی .
I asked God to make my spirit grow.
God said, no.
You must grow on your own!
But I will prune you to make you fruitful .
از او خواستم لااقل به من صبر عطا کند .
فرمود : صبر حاصل سختی و رنج است .
عطا کردنی نیست ، آموختنی است .
I ask God to grant me patience .
God seaid , no
Patirnce is a byproduct of tribulation .
It isn't granted , it is learned .
گفتم : مراخوشبخت کن .
فرمود : " نعمت " از من خوشبخت شدن ازتو .
I asked God to give me happiness .
God seaid , no .
I give you blessings ;
Happiness is up to you .
از او خواستم مرا گرفتار درد وعذاب نکند .
فرمود : رنج از دلبستگی های دنیایی جدا و به من نزدیک ترت می کند .
I askesd God to spare me pain .
God said , no .
Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to me .
از خدا خواستم کمکم کند همان قدر که او مرا دوست دارد ، من هم دیگران را دوست بدارم .
خدا فرمود : آها ، بالاخره اصل مطلب دستگیرت شد !
I asked God to help me love others , as much as He loves me .
God said : Ahah , finally you have the idea .
همه با هم بگویید : خدایا مرا ده ، که آن به .
آمین یا رب العالمین
A red rose means
respect, unconscious beauty, courage and
"I love you".
|
A red rose means respect, unconscious beauty, courage and "I love you". |
 |
A yellow rose means gladness, joy, friendship and "you're in my thoughts". |
 |
A white rose means purity, innocence, secrecy, silence and "you're heavenly". |
 |
A pink rose means grace, admiration, thank you and "you're lovely" |
Use this In Your Life
Talk--------------Softly
Walk---------------Humbly
Eat-------------------Sensibly
Breathe-------------------Deeply
Sleep---------------------Sufficiently
Dress---------------------------Smartly
Act-------------------------------Fearlessly
Work---------------------------------Patiently
Think-----------------------------------Truthfully
Believe------------------------------------Correctly
Behave----------------------------------------Decently
Learn--------------------------------------------Practically
Plan---------------------------------------------------Orderly
Earn-----------------------------------------------------Honestly
Save--------------------------------------------------------Regularly
Spend--------------------------------------------------------Intelligently
Love-----------------------------------------------------------Passionately
ENJOY--- -----------------------------------------------------COMPLETELY
